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Submitted on
May 14, 2013
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625 bytes
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Don't cry now baby,
you're almost dead.
The tears are flowing
from what they've said.

Rivulets of red
from wrists you've slit.
You had tried so hard,
but couldn't quit.

You're all alone now;
your friends have gone.
Your heartbeat's slowing;
you won't see dawn.

Your life fades away
with ev'ry breath.
You are too far gone
to escape death.

Wipe away your tears,
and be at peace.
You're so close to
final release.
A poem about pain, suffering and suicide with an undertone of a dark lullaby.
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:iconlostsiren111:
Critique by LostSiren111 May 18, 2013, 1:12:32 PM
It can be hard to write about something so dark and actually describe it in an almost beautiful way, but I believe you have achieved just that.

This poem is sad, but at the same time it is, in a way, comforting. You really did an amazing job.

Though not an uncommon topic, I believe that this is unique in it's on way. Simple and to the point, yet very deep and detailed at the same time which is very nice.

You did an amazing job capturing the right mood and your imager is very good as well. Excellent job!
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:icongagajolie123:
Gagajolie123 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Student Writer
Great job! I am totally taking inspiration from this for my new fanfiction. Thanks!
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Eh? You're quite welcome, and thank you. May I ask what fanfiction?
Reply
:icongagajolie123:
Gagajolie123 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Student Writer
I'm writing it right now so it's not complete but it's about a girl who starts High School and ggoes slowly into a depression to after kill herself because it is too hard.
Reply
:icondorroaker:
dorroaker Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student General Artist
it's is dark, but It's very well written. a wrote one like this, but mine is crap, yours has a lovely flows to it
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:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much. :)
Reply
:icon1shilo1:
1shilo1 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Student General Artist
oh my gosh...
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:0
Reply
:icon1shilo1:
1shilo1 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Student General Artist
it is just soooo amaing, and touching. it would be great for something like an antibullying campain, it's just soooo moving...

By the way, i <3 your avatar!
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much. :3
Reply
:icontaypach:
Taypach Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Student General Artist
This is amazing. :) You used such detail yet its so simple at the same time. I love it. :)
Reply
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