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Don't cry now baby,
you're almost dead.
The tears are flowing
from what they've said.

Rivulets of red
from wrists you've slit.
You had tried so hard,
but couldn't quit.

You're all alone now;
your friends have gone.
Your heartbeat's slowing;
you won't see dawn.

Your life fades away
with ev'ry breath.
You are too far gone
to escape death.

Wipe away your tears,
and be at peace.
You're so close to
final release.
A poem about pain, suffering and suicide with an undertone of a dark lullaby.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlostsiren111:
Critique by LostSiren111 May 18, 2013, 1:12:32 PM
It can be hard to write about something so dark and actually describe it in an almost beautiful way, but I believe you have achieved just that.

This poem is sad, but at the same time it is, in a way, comforting. You really did an amazing job.

Though not an uncommon topic, I believe that this is unique in it's on way. Simple and to the point, yet very deep and detailed at the same time which is very nice.

You did an amazing job capturing the right mood and your imager is very good as well. Excellent job!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
23 out of 23 deviants thought this was fair.

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:icongagajolie123:
Gagajolie123 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Student Writer
Great job! I am totally taking inspiration from this for my new fanfiction. Thanks!
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Eh? You're quite welcome, and thank you. May I ask what fanfiction?
Reply
:icongagajolie123:
Gagajolie123 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Student Writer
I'm writing it right now so it's not complete but it's about a girl who starts High School and ggoes slowly into a depression to after kill herself because it is too hard.
Reply
:icondorroaker:
dorroaker Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Student General Artist
it's is dark, but It's very well written. a wrote one like this, but mine is crap, yours has a lovely flows to it
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much. :)
Reply
:icon1shilo1:
1shilo1 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Student General Artist
oh my gosh...
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:0
Reply
:icon1shilo1:
1shilo1 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Student General Artist
it is just soooo amaing, and touching. it would be great for something like an antibullying campain, it's just soooo moving...

By the way, i <3 your avatar!
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much. :3
Reply
:icontaypach:
Taypach Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Student General Artist
This is amazing. :) You used such detail yet its so simple at the same time. I love it. :)
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:icontaypach:
Taypach Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student General Artist
Your welcome. It was good.
Reply
:iconlucain24:
Lucain24 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Whoa...
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
^_^
Reply
:iconthisisnotoneword:
thisisnotoneword Featured By Owner May 20, 2013
Can't help but sing it in a lullaby tune, which is genius and creepy at the same time. Love it!
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :3
Reply
:icontheorchidknight:
theorchidknight Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
I love that!!!
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Death is just one of life's steps. In the end, we must not fear it.
Beautiful poem, by the way.
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Youre welcome.
Reply
:iconzephyrmaximum:
ZephyrMaximum Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful... in a sad way :)
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you kindly. :)
Reply
:iconorchidwhiskers:
OrchidWhiskers Featured By Owner May 15, 2013
This is so sad! I wish there was no bullying and nobody committed suicide because everyone is so amazing and they will just never know because of a couple words. I know it is always those couple of mean words that outweigh all of the good, but to anyone who is suicidal:
Stay strong because you are amazing and I love you!
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Strong words :3
Reply
:iconorchidwhiskers:
OrchidWhiskers Featured By Owner May 15, 2013
Thanks :) I don't think anyone should have to suffer like that. Your writing is very beautiful :)
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much.
Reply
:iconorchidwhiskers:
OrchidWhiskers Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconaikonikboy:
AikonikBoy Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You really know how to incite emotion
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you kindly. That is what I strive to do. A chill down the spine, or a tear down the cheek... Hope you enjoyed!
Reply
:iconaikonikboy:
AikonikBoy Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
It's what all true writers crave. Emotional stirring created for anyone that is kind enough to read it. My goal is to write a short film within my high school career that brings tears.
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I believe in you :)
Reply
:iconaikonikboy:
AikonikBoy Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconoofsmedly:
OofSmedly Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That is so terrifying and grotesque! I love it so much!
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconlittlecuteinsaneboy:
LittleCuteInsaneBoy Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow this is amazing, I could really see this while reading! You are very talent at writing, I absolutely love this <3
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:icongoblinwort:
GoblinWort Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Deep
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconfelicia-neko:
Felicia-Neko Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
powerful ! All these lines are so familiar.. well done :)
Reply
:iconblazin8004:
Blazin8004 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much.
Reply
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